Your kitchen is a classroom.
Let 'em cook, and they'll learn more than just a practical life skill.
For most parents, cooking is just one of the many tasks of daily life that has to get done, whether we like it or not. Which is why we usually just want to get it done as quickly as possible.
But might we make the case for prolonging the cooking process? (Yes, we know, but stay with us for a moment!)
Spending time in the kitchen is a fantastic opportunity to teach your child some practical life skills. For they, too, will one day face the eternal question: what’s for dinner? (And they can only eat macaroni and cheese for so long, you know?)
Of course, at the onset, letting your kids participate in cooking is more challenging than excluding them.
It’s easier to shoo your kids out of the kitchen and set them up in front of the TV, because it requires forethought and planning to let your kids get involved.
Also because it takes babies way longer to place vegetables on a baking sheet.
Oh, and when kids are involved, there are bound to be spills (and subsequently, the side quest to clean them up).
So yeah, in the moment, it makes cooking harder.
But in the long run? Well… your teenager won’t have to ask you to explain “the wet stuff in soup.”
On a serious note, though, letting kids help in the kitchen is a huge gift — to you (because eventually, they will build the competence and skills to actually be helpful) and, most importantly, to them.
For toddlers who deeply want to do real tasks with real tools, letting them help signals to them that they are worthy of participating in real life.
And for teenagers who deeply want to develop the independence to be okay on their own, letting them cook gives them confidence in their capability.
This is your chance as a parent to practice patience.
Though it might feel impractical to let your child start handling some of your meal prep, in our experience, it’s worth including them in the process:
Practical skills build independence… and more
From the moment they’re born, our children persist toward their ultimate developmental goal: independence.
Their every action is fueled by this desire. It’s what drives babies to learn to crawl, and then to walk. And it’s why toddlers are more interested in learning how to use your real cleaning tools than playing with their toy versions.
Because young children long to be independent, they’re naturally drawn to practical life activities, from cleaning up messes to watering the plants.
But what most parents don’t realize is that these practical skills don’t just foster independence — they also help your child build a foundation for academics.
That’s because every academic skill requires focus, the ability to follow a series of steps, and fine motor skills.
Before a child can learn to read, they must be able to focus long enough to learn their letters. And before a child can write, they must develop the fine motor skills to hold and maneuver a pencil.
Practical life activities help your child build these skills.
How? Just put yourself in your little one’s shoes for a moment. Say you’re tasked with wiping down the table after a meal. To accomplish this, you need to know:
where the cleaning supplies are stored
which supplies are needed for this task
how to prepare the cloth (using water/soap/a nontoxic spray)
how to wipe down the table (without making a mess on the floor!)
where to put the dirty cloth when finished
What is ultimately a simple task for grown-ups is quite complex for young children. Wiping down the table requires incredible concentration — a skill that is critical for learning.
For older kids who can already read and write, these practical tasks still have value — namely, letting kids witness their own effectiveness.
Concrete tasks like peeling vegetables, measuring ingredients, and creating appetizing dishes offer proof that they are capable — and these little affirmations, over time, show a child that they can handle challenges outside the kitchen, too.
How to include your children in the kitchen
Getting your kids to help in the kitchen all starts with learning how to introduce your child to a new task.
For example, you wouldn’t hand your toddler an unfamiliar tool and tell them to prepare their own snacks. There’s no progression in difficulty when doing that. It’s like throwing them into the deep end of the swimming pool without floaties.
Instead, try to think of the smallest component your child can handle on their own, based on where they are developmentally — like letting your baby help you open a cabinet door or having your toddler transfer snacks onto a plate.
Start by modeling the new task a few times before letting your child try it on their own.
Gradually, as the child masters individual steps, you can let them take over more and more.
Soon, they’ll be able to complete entire tasks without your intervention, including setting up their workspace and cleaning it when they’re done.
And if your kid doesn’t want to get involved? Don’t force it. Just keep offering opportunities for them to be part of your daily routine:
Developmentally Appropriate Kitchen Tasks
For Infants
Even infants can get involved in the kitchen — yes, really! Try narrating your process by imagining you’re the star of your own cooking show. Not only will your child get to be involved in the process, but their language development will improve, too.
For Toddlers
Try setting aside a shelf in your kitchen where your toddler can access everything they need to prepare a snack and get water. You can include:
Plates & bowls
Silverware
Cups
Napkins & towels
You can even set up a child-sized kitchen by modifying a play kitchen to make it more functional. Or, if that’s not an option, try a step stool so they can access your countertops.
Other ideas appropriate for toddlers include:
Scooping cereal into a bowl
Peeling oranges
Transferring veggies from a cutting board to a roasting pan
Slicing apples and bananas
Pouring milk or juice
Retrieving ingredients from the pantry
Setting the table
Opening and closing jars, storage containers, and baggies (start with empty ones!)
Loading and unloading the dishwasher
Wiping the table after dinner
For Elementary-aged Kids
Fun ways to include your elementary-aged kids in the cooking process include:
Having them read the recipe aloud while you cook
Helping you plan family meals by flipping through cookbooks or choosing recipes online
Measuring ingredients
Operating the stand mixer or blender
Taking out the trash or moving scraps to the compost bin
For Teens
Once your kids are in their teens, try letting them choose what responsibilities they want to take on, rather than assigning them. The key here is to let your teens set their own goals so they feel a sense of agency.
For example, your teen is more likely to help in the kitchen if they’re the one who gets to decide what to eat for dinner.
You might even consider letting them “run the kitchen” for an evening each week, allowing them to:
Plan dinner
Create a budget
Go grocery shopping
Delegate tasks to other family members
No matter how you choose to get your kids involved, remember that your kitchen isn’t just a place for cooking — it’s a place for learning, too.
☀️ This week’s bright spots:
If you have 1 minute…
Get a list of the best books for starting Montessori at home.
If you have 5 minutes…
Read this post on how we can make cities more child-friendly…and bring back a playful childhood.
If you have 10 minutes…
Read this guide on how to teach your two-year-old to read (and why you should).
I love the idea of retrofitting a toy kitchen for more functionality!