There are four stages of child development
Parenting is better when you work with your kid’s needs, not against them
Through careful observation of her students, Maria Montessori defined four distinct planes of development that form the foundation of her developmental psychology theory. They are:
Infancy (0 to 6 years old)
Childhood (6 to 12 years old)
Adolescence (12 to 18 years old)
Maturity (18 to 24+ years old)
Each stage is completely different — mentally and physically. For instance, the support a child needs in infancy looks different from what they need during their childhood years.
That might seem obvious (no more mashed bananas, no more naps, no more diaper changes!), but take it a step further: the support they need in childhood also differs from what they need in adolescence and beyond.
Developmental needs are often overlooked, especially in education, resulting in everything from tantrums in toddlers to moodiness in teens.
But when we ignore our child’s developmental needs, we also miss out on making the most of each stage.
Why meeting developmental needs is so important
Each plane of development or age range includes “sensitive periods.” These are phases that children go through where a particular domain of learning is accelerated. This means that the child is especially interested in certain activities and less so in others.
In Montessori classrooms, guides observe each child’s interests and offer materials that match their sensitive periods. So, not only does the child get to experience genuine delight in their pursuits, but they also learn a tremendous amount from them.
For example, during a child’s sensitive period for language (which occurs starting in infancy), they are drawn to look at and listen to the mouths of speakers. They’re more interested in storytime and absorb more language from these experiences than they do after this sensitive period has closed.
Meeting your child’s developmental needs also results in better behavior across the board. Our VP of Curriculum, Laura Mazer, said it best:
“Montessori reminds us that when children act out, some developmental need is not being satisfied.”
So, what are the developmental needs for each age range?
Infancy (0 to 6 years old)
From the moment they’re born, children crave physical independence. They want to learn how to move their bodies, refine their senses, and control themselves. And to do that, they must be able to focus on and interact with their surroundings.
This developmental stage is characterized by Montessori’s principle of the “absorbent mind,” which refers to the young child’s incredible ability to soak up everything from their environment. During these six years, kids are like sponges, effortlessly absorbing language, behaviors, and knowledge, which lay the foundation for lifelong learning. Their language skills, in particular, develop rapidly, which is why they can learn to speak multiple languages fluently (without the use of grammar lessons).
This stage also has a heavy focus on reality.
Young children are constantly asking, “What is this world?” They’re infinitely curious about the universe around them and less interested in abstraction and imagination, which become more important in childhood. (In fact, infants can’t yet distinguish between fantasy and reality!)
This is why Montessori classrooms for this age group include so many practical life activities and sensory materials. Young children are most interested in what they can see and touch. After all, this is how they learn! They want to pour water, sweep the floor, and prepare their own snacks. To them, it’s not tedious; it’s deeply fulfilling.
And again, kids want to do this important work independently. Though they are often forced into group activities, their primary focus is on establishing themselves—their core identity, an understanding of the world they’re in, and how to navigate it successfully.
It’s not until elementary that children are really excited about collaboration… but by then, traditional schools sit them in rows and force them to be quiet for hours a day.
Here’s why that approach doesn’t work:
Childhood (6 to 12 years old)
Kids in this developmental stage crave intellectual independence: using their imagination and navigating social relationships. They want to work with their peers on group projects, invent games and stories together, and develop lasting friendships.
This is also when children become interested in justice and morality, which is how much of their social interest plays out. They work together to define rules, assign roles, and hash out what’s fair in different situations. They genuinely want to learn how to collaborate to answer their big questions.
After spending infancy exploring what the world is, children now want to know why and how the world functions.
This is the stage when kids naturally strive for intellectual independence. They want to learn… everything. The facts, the process, the truth. And they’re ready for it.
Culturally speaking, we’ve been led to believe that academic “seriousness” starts in late middle school or even early high school. But kids are ready to learn deeply, broadly, and enthusiastically in elementary. This is when they want to be serious about their academic pursuits. Again, from Laura:
“It is only in the second plane of development, those magical elementary years, when a child does not ask WHY they should learn. They only know that they are driven to do it.”
By adolescence, this is no longer the case. Our teens need to be convinced of the practicality of learning and doing.
Here’s why:
Adolescence (12 to 18 years old)
Society often views adolescents as being moody and defiant, but when their developmental needs are being met, they’re able to step off the emotional rollercoaster (and so are you!).
This is the stage when children crave social independence. They want to define who they are, what they believe, what they value, and what they love doing and to engage with their community accordingly.
And that’s why they need a practical answer as to why they should learn or do… anything at all. It’s not “teenage defiance.” Rather, they’re building the skillsets they’ll need as adults, including:
The ability to define priorities
The mental capacity to figure out what matters and what doesn’t
The motivation to focus on achieving their goals and dreams
Viewed like this, adolescents are right to object to arbitrary duties or demands that “waste their time.” They’re embarking on the deep, important work of knowing themselves — and everything else is secondary.
Unfortunately, in traditional settings, this is also the stage when we force the most structure upon kids, telling them what and how to learn and leaving little room for any other exploration or engagement with life.
As their focus naturally shifts from the academic to the social, we pile them with increased responsibilities and college prep courses. But what our teens really need to learn and internalize is that they can be successful in the real world.
To do that, they need opportunities to act on their independence — their beliefs, values, and interests.
This way, when they reach maturity, they’re ready to take their place in society.
Maturity (18 to 24+ years old)
This is when your child gets to find their place in the world, developing a sense of purpose and direction. They naturally grow to understand society and how they can contribute to it.
The Montessori adult is the human being we all hope our children grow up to be. They’re healthy, they love learning, and they desire to actively shape the world around them. They can make their own decisions and author their own life, anchored by a love for humanity and the globe.
It’s rare to raise this type of adult — but it’s vital if we want to participate in a thriving society.
Ultimately, meeting your child’s developmental needs isn’t about “getting ahead” or raising a future billionaire, superstar, or prodigy.
It’s about giving them everything they need to become a healthy, happy, capable individual.
☀️ This week’s bright spots:
If you have one minute… Watch this video from Matt about his 18mo’s desire for risky play — an important aspect of that developmental stage.
If you have five minutes… Read this thread from Samantha on the first plane of development, for ages 0-6.
If you have ten minutes… Read this article on the milestones your child will experience in each developmental stage.