Actually, babies need independence, too.
It's never too early for independence
If you’ve been following Montessori for a while, you know that building independence is one of the most important aspects of the philosophy.
But when does this crucial component come into play — when a child can walk and talk? When they can be trusted to prepare a snack or tie their shoes? When they no longer need naps or diapers?
Actually, in Montessori, independence begins in infancy.
This statement causes confusion among parents. After all, how can a baby be independent?
While it’s true that babies are heavily dependent upon our caregiving — from one feeding and diaper change to the next — it is also true that they are astonishingly capable. We see this in the rapid development of their movement and language skills, going from babbling to saying their first words seemingly overnight.
Recognizing how capable your baby is isn’t the same as neglecting them.
You can care for your child’s needs while giving them ample opportunity to practice skills that enable them to become more independent and confident. In fact, opportunities like these are a developmental need for infants.
Here’s what we mean:
Babies are hardwired for functional independence
From the moment a baby is born, they start learning about the world around them. Whether we like it or not, they’re determined to gain independence from day one.
This is why, practically overnight, babies become capable of rolling over, crawling, and then walking. They say their first words, seemingly out of nowhere. Even as a parent who sees them daily, it can be challenging to keep up with this constant progress.
Like toddlers and preschoolers, infants are mainly focused on building functional independence. They’re intent on building the basic skills they need to navigate the world, particularly by gaining mastery over their bodies.
“The youngest of children are exerting independent effort to build themselves, to learn, to grow. Even tiny babies need the freedom to experiment and explore and achieve.”
Giving infants such opportunities to build their independence ultimately supports healthy development.
This is how you can help your baby get started:
How to build independence starting in infancy
Start with a foundation of trust
In Montessori classrooms, one of our top priorities is to help each child develop trust in themselves, their guides, and the world around them.
It’s this sense of certainty that allows the child to feel comfortable enough to begin building their independence.
You can construct a similar foundation at home by:
Creating a sense of order and structure. Organize each room with toys and real-world materials (including from nature) for your baby to explore, placing them in a consistent, eye-level location.
Following your baby’s natural sleep and feeding schedule. Where and how these activities occur should be kept consistent so that, over time, your child can predict upcoming events.
Buying (or making!) a topponcino, a thin security pillow that eases a child’s transition from womb to world by providing a familiar touch, whether in their bassinet or at the pediatrician’s office.
In this orderly environment, babies make connections and build a frame of reference, allowing them to internalize that life is both interesting and safe.
Give them ample space and freedom to move
Once they can trust themselves and the world, infants are all about one thing: movement! They’re fascinated by the work of learning how to coordinate their bodies, repeating one action again and again until they’ve mastered it.
Moreover, babies love a good challenge. They don’t just want to crawl; they want to crawl on inclined surfaces. It’s not enough to pull themselves up; they need to shuffle from chair to chair while holding themselves upright.
This is why it’s so important to give our babies ample space and freedom to move, ideally in a simple, babyproofed nursery. Whenever possible, limit the use of walkers, cribs, highchairs—really, any baby-containing devices that restrict movement. Instead, opt for floor beds, infant-sized chairs and tables, and opportunities to walk unimpeded.
Given this sort of space and encouragement, infants naturally gain mastery over their bodies. This, in turn, gives them the confidence to achieve even greater independence.
Let them complete practical tasks
Just like older children, babies are eager to imitate adults by completing practical tasks — and they’re far more capable than we often assume.
Through careful observation and creative thinking, we can invite our infants to participate more and more in the practical tasks that involve them.
For instance, once a child can sit up independently, it’s possible to include sitting on a tiny potty as part of their diaper-changing routine.
This is also where their new movement skills come into play. For example, they might:
Crawl into and out of their floor bed on their own
Use appropriately-sized silverware and glasses
Pick out a new diaper, remove clothing, and use wipes
While these probably feel like small, mundane tasks to you, they’re everything to your baby. Their involvement is incredibly meaningful to them, providing constant opportunities to build independence.
In this way, infants come to realize that persistence is valuable and that they are capable of achieving their goals. Simply crawling in and out of bed unsupervised helps them build a strong foundation on which to overcome future challenges.
Don’t steal the struggle
Babies, like older kids, need space to struggle — without our intervention.
This can be uncomfortable for us as parents, but ultimately, our constant efforts to help kids avoid frustration in the short term will harm them in the long run. If you want your child to build frustration tolerance and a willingness to overcome challenges, then letting them struggle (and ultimately, succeed!) is the way.
One of the biggest benefits of letting our babies struggle is that it allows them to build focus and confidence.
Notice when your child is working on something on their own, their full attention fixated on it… and then do everything in your power to ignore them. It’s so tempting to jump in and try to help or to be constantly engaging with our babies, but this can break their concentration.
Sportscast your actions and offer choices
Your baby may not be able to speak yet, but they can understand some of what they hear. Therefore, through sportscasting (using rich language to explain what you’re doing as you’re doing it), they can begin to connect their experiences to spoken words.
For example, you might sportscast your child’s diaper change every day, talking through exactly what you’re doing as you’re doing it. While developing their language skills, babies also learn the steps of the process — which will support them as they later attempt to replicate it independently.
You can also offer your baby simple choices, such as which story to read at bedtime. Even if they can’t say the title of the book, they can look at it, grab it, or show excitement when you pull it off the shelf. All of these are expressions of independence.
In the end, helping our babies become more independent is really about giving them confidence in their own capability, starting from their earliest days. This foundation that starts in infancy will carry forward into their later years, supporting their growth into the kind of adult who knows they can author their own story.
☀️ This week’s bright spots:
If you have one minute… Watch this video on a day in the life of a Nido Montessori student, for ages 6 weeks to 16 months.
If you have five minutes… Read our guide on toilet learning, the peaceful alternative to potty training, that can begin as early as birth.
If you want to dive deeper… Check out The Montessori Baby by Simone Davies and Junnifa Uzodike — an excellent primer on the Montessori method from birth to age one.