Your kid has too many toys.
If you want to change your child's behavior, start with how you set up your home.
When you have a child, your home fundamentally changes.
Not just because of the new cribs and swings and mobiles — or the meticulous babyproofing.
The change is deeper than that. The purpose of your home changes.
When you have a child, your home is no longer just a home.
It is a place of learning. It is your baby’s introduction to life.
Most of your child’s first encounters with this beautiful, complex world will happen within your home’s four walls.
Your home can be set up intentionally, in a way that beckons your child to interact with it and participate in life — teaching them that the world is a fascinating place.
On the flip side, when your home is full of areas your child can’t go and things they can’t touch, the world can seem unwelcoming and scary.
The first few months with a new baby are a pivotal time. Everything from your habits to your lifestyle will change…making this the perfect time to change your home, too.
In other words, everything else is changing — so why not your environment?
The idea that the environment can support (or hinder) a child’s development came from Maria Montessori, whose innovative ideas on education have persisted for over a century — for good reason.
So, what makes the “Montessori environment” so special? And why does it matter?
Why does Montessori care so much about the environment?
A thoughtfully designed, intentionally prepared environment is a key tenet of the Montessori approach.
This means:
Placing books and other materials on low shelves where kids can reach them
Giving toddlers access to cloths to wipe up spills without needing to get help from an adult
Giving older kids and teens access to a variety of real tools that enable their creative process
Contrast this with an environment full of chairs too tall for a child to sit in without an adult’s help, high shelves full of toys they can’t reach, and cleaning tools too large for small hands to hold comfortably.
Why does this matter?
Because young children are coming to big conclusions about what kind of world they live in and who they are.
They’re learning whether the world is safe, interesting, and intelligible. Whether they are capable, able to succeed, and able to surmount challenges.
A world that is designed to captivate them and empower them to succeed is an environment that supports children in developing a healthy self-concept and a healthy view of the world as a whole.
How to set up a Montessori home
Fostering independence is the guiding principle behind Montessori’s prepared environment.
This is why there is an emphasis on tools and materials being child-sized.
When items are too large or stored on high shelves, they inhibit our kids’ independence.
This means that creating the ideal prepared environment for your child won’t be an overnight project.
Whether you’re expecting your first baby or remodeling for your older kids, it’s okay to take things one step at a time.
Some areas you might consider preparing include:
A playroom/learning space
Your child’s bedroom
The kitchen
Your child’s bathroom
A playroom/learning space
If you have the floor plan for it, a dedicated learning space is one of the greatest gifts you can give to your child.
Use baskets or trays to organize activities, and store them on easily accessible shelves.
Your child should be able to easily view the available options and decide independently what they want to work on.
But there’s one important caveat for the playroom space: less is more.
Limiting a child’s options aids in mastery. Without dozens of toys to choose from, your child can truly immerse themselves in the few options available to them.
As a parent, your job is to observe and notice when your child’s interests are shifting. Over time, you can retire old materials and introduce new ones (note: new to the child doesn’t always mean “new”).
If your kid doesn’t seem interested in a specific activity? No worries. You can always reintroduce it at a later time.
For older children, a learning space should help cultivate inner discipline and motivation. You might consider:
Adding a tablet or computer to enhance their independent learning experience
Replacing toys with puzzles, building sets, and other materials of interest to them
Pairing their at-home learning with volunteer opportunities that expose them to practical life applications
Bedroom
In essence, a Montessori environment should enable independence.
This brings us to the Montessori floor bed: it allows little ones to exercise their agency, even before they’re able to walk.
As soon as they wake up, the child can slide off the bed on their own and begin their day. They might:
Pick out clothes and get dressed (just be sure to prepare weather-appropriate options in their child-sized wardrobe)
Choose toys and books from their shelves (using a play mat for toddlers to keep them safe)
Brush their hair at a low-hanging mirror (because taking care of themselves is a ticket to independence)
As for your older kid, allow them to take ownership of their bedroom and use it as a place to express their creativity, personality, and interests.
This might mean letting them:
Pick the paint color
Display their own art on the walls
Decide how they want the room to be organized
Older kids should feel proud when caring for their space and take full responsibility for cleaning and organizing it.
Kitchen
Resist the urge to hand your children plastic dishes and utensils. Instead, teach them the value of beautiful things by letting them use real dishes.
Yes, they’re fragile (and yes, they might break!). But when we entrust children with real, beautiful things, we show them that they are capable and worthy of participating in the real world.
This is exactly what the kitchen is best for — letting kids participate in the activities of daily life.
While you can’t lower the height of your kitchen counter or sink at will, you can incorporate age-appropriate stools or ladders so young children can wash their hands, help with cooking, clean dishes, and access drinking water.
And instead of being buckled into a high chair, child-sized tables and chairs allow kids the freedom to sit down when they want a snack and leave the table when they’re done.
You can also place age-appropriate materials at eye level (either on a shelf, in the refrigerator, or in the pantry), so your kids can access them. These might include:
A few options for snacks
A child-sized pitcher and cups
A hand broom and small cloths to clean up spills
As parents, it’s ingrained in us that when there’s an accident — a broken dish, a puddle of water, a pile of cereal — we should move our children out of the way.
But your kitchen is the perfect place to invite your kids to practice cleaning up!
By grabbing a towel or wielding a small broom, children can learn how to care for an environment where their actions have real consequences.
We don’t do this to punish them. We do it because our kids are worthy of interacting with the world.
For older kids, a prepared kitchen environment might include:
Cookbooks or recipe cards so they can flex their cooking/baking muscles
Staple tools such as a blender, stand mixer, waffle iron, etc. that they have been taught how to use
Sponges, dish soap, a drying rack, microfiber towels, and anything else they might need to clean up when they’re done
Teens crave greater responsibility, so our job as parents is to simply allow them.
Bathroom
Every room in your house is an opportunity to practice life skills… including the bathroom!
This is where your children will learn to care for their personal hygiene, which is a clear marker of a capable, independent human.
To give your toddler more freedom of movement, prepare an age-appropriate step stool that will allow them to easily reach the sink.
In the same vein, a small potty or seat will allow them to use the toilet by themselves.
The possibilities are endless when it comes to designing a home environment that helps your child become more independent and more confident.
And because you’re inviting your child to simply be a part of daily life, preparing the environment doesn’t need to be expensive.
Each Montessori home will be a little different — because every child is different.
But the common thread?
Every kid can become more independent when their environment empowers and inspires them to do so.
