I let my kids run loose in the airport. You should, too.
It's one of the best places to give your kids a little freedom (and a lot of confidence).
Would you let your children run loose in the airport while you wait for your flight to board?
Not “run loose” like a pack of zoo animals at feeding time (that might be a little much for the other travelers). But would you trust your kids to explore the gift shops, ride the moving sidewalk, interact with other kids, or purchase a snack… all by themselves?
We would — and we do.
Our CEO, Ray Girn, always invites his children to find their departing gate on their own:
“I tell them the gate number and say ‘see you there!’ A handful of times they’ve gotten lost, or a security guard or overzealous stranger waited with them. But usually, they are fine, and there is a real pride in being trusted.”
If that sounds scary, we get it. At first, giving your kids this much freedom seems scary, risky, or even neglectful.
“The airport is the perfect microcosm of the world at large,” says Ray. “It feels scary to a parent because it’s so easy to imagine the worst—what if my child gets on a plane by accident and ends up in a different city? And yet, past the security checkpoint, it’s one of the safest places in the world.”
At the airport, there are security cameras, guards, friendly people, speaker systems, and signs. In some ways, it’s like a prepared environment for parents who want to practice letting their kids go on ahead.
“Sure, some busybody might make a fuss, but your kids will be fine. More than that, they’ll see the airport—and hopefully the world at large—as a place open to their ability to understand and act,” says Ray.
Giving your kids free rein at the airport doesn’t just allow them to feel capable in the face of major challenges. It allows them to have agency over their lives.
What is agency?
We talk a lot about agency here at Guidepost. It’s one of the core pillars of our educational philosophy.
So… what is it, anyway?
As Matt Bateman puts it:
Agency is not just letting your child choose whether they want to eat at the McDonald’s or the Starbucks in your terminal. This is just a choice.
Agency goes far deeper than that — it is the ability of your child to ask, “What do I want to eat?”, and then to execute that desire.
A seemingly simple task (“eat lunch”) requires a lot of prerequisite skills:
Using the airport map to find restaurants
Knowing how to follow signs to get there
Budgeting time (“Do I have enough time before my flight boards to wait in this line?”) and money (“I have $20 — how much can I buy?”)
Add to that the additional challenge of being in a new environment — and you begin to appreciate just how difficult it is for a child to exercise their agency.
But that’s the whole point: getting to choose McDonald’s over Starbucks isn’t that hard. There’s no challenge to overcome, no risk involved, no thrill.
Which also means there’s no confidence, no “I did it!”, and no pride.
Successfully finding your flight number on the departure boards, getting un-lost, bravely asking for directions… These are among the small victories that your child might encounter wandering the airport alone.
The more small victories your child tallies up, the more capable they’ll feel, and the more confident they’ll become.
What if they’re not ready to wander?
Not every kid is ready to wander the airport and meet you at your departure gate, of course.
Age plays a role (sorry toddlers, you’re not free to wander just yet), as does readiness (some challenges your child may not be ready for, and that’s okay).
But every kid can be given agency at the airport — just make sure to budget extra time to let your kids participate in the myriad of practical life activities that the airport offers.
This might include:
Packing a backpack or small suitcase to be responsible for
Helping print out boarding passes at the airport kiosk
Carrying and scanning their boarding pass
The airport is an unfamiliar environment full of new challenges — which means there are plenty of opportunities for your child to leave the experience feeling more capable than before.
☀️ This week’s bright spots:
If you have 1 minute…
Watch this video on Maria Montessori, and how her theory of education defied societal norms at the time.
If you have 5 minutes…
Read Ray’s note on Montessori’s vision of a normal, healthy child.
If you have 10 minutes…
Read Dr. Aliza Pressman’s newsletter on when it’s okay to let your kids quit.
There are some great points about agency. This does look different for families of color. We do not always have the safety or luxury of allowing our children to explore as they are often seen as a disturbance or a potential threat in spaces. The trauma they ensue when being targeted while just being children and being curious creates a level of fear for them that trumps agency too often. That trip through the gift shop can often be accompanied by being followed and the innocent exploration on the runway can result in a visit from airport security. It has happened to us and we have witnessed it happening to others. We have often developed our own safe ways to allow our children agency while protecting them from bigotry and bias in public that can interfere with their natural curiousness.