You, as a parent, scrimp and save for your child's college education. You work to help them score well on the SAT and apply to the right schools on time.
You feel like early childhood, elementary, and middle schools are just waiting rooms for the "real" action and college is the most important determinant of your child's success.
You think college is serious, high school is kind of serious, middle school is still less serious, elementary school is not too serious, and early childhood is not serious at all.
But what makes it possible for that young college student, newly on their own, to…
Pick a major and career path based on what they like and are good at (instead of what they think will impress others, feel safe, etc.)?
Find friends and relationships that they resonate with, who will lift them up and respect them, who will make it easier to craft a healthy, happy, successful life?
Work hard and get the most out of their classes, jobs, and internships, not out of duty, but because they enjoy working hard, enjoy the results, and know it's all worth it if it's serving a meaningful purpose?
Manage their time, energy, and competing priorities so they don't get burnt out on the one hand or lose track of what's important and make costly mistakes on the other?
Thinking each successive stage of education is more serious and more important than the previous is a grave error. For us, it's the reverse.
Early childhood is the most important: cognitively, morally, and emotionally.
Caring about college the most is the equivalent of caring more about a home's decor than the sturdiness of its foundation, or more about the fancy trim on your car than whether you have gas.
The early years are a critical period of rapid brain development, where neural pathways are formed and habits are established. Every interaction, every experience, and every opportunity for learning during this time shapes the trajectory of a child's future.
Here are four reasons why early childhood is the most critical stage to get right:
1. It’s where confidence is built
It is much easier to build up kids’ confidence in early childhood than it is to help them overcome poor self-esteem in adolescence or adulthood. We can do this by giving them space to tackle hard things.
Of course, we’re not suggesting that children need to be climbing mountains by the age of six. Rather, their challenges may come in the form of tying their shoes or zipping their jackets. These probably sound like mundane tasks, but to young kids, they’re big and important.
Obviously, your child will learn how to put on a jacket at some point, even if they don’t get the experience of doing it all by themselves as a toddler.
But there’s a brief window when kids are excited and interested in putting on a jacket by themselves, a brief window when that challenge is just hard enough to give them the thrill of “I did it myself!”
In early childhood like no other era of life, these opportunities to build lifelong confidence are plentiful. They come around multiple times a day: when preparing a snack, cleaning their room, or leaving the house.
2. It’s where character is built
This is the time when children learn to self-regulate their emotions, to delight in being self-controlled. They build their focus, persistence, and growth mindset.
Moreover, early childhood education teaches kids to respect order and the law of cause and effect. They start to look to the future and make choices now that will get them what they want later.
All these character traits are built (or not) between the ages of three and six. It’s not that you can’t teach them later, but it’s going to be much harder and more painful.
Rather than breaking bad habits through intensive intervention, we can instill positive character traits while our children are young.
3. It’s where fundamental cognitive methods are established
In early childhood, kids learn what to expect from the world and where to look for the truth.
For example, is the world intelligible? Do the same causes have the same effects every time? Is life organized or chaotic? Are things achievable or out of reach?
Children begin to question if they should look to others to tell them what to think, do, or believe. They wonder if the world is set up for them to figure things out. Are they expected to learn and interact with life, or should they learn and interact solely with their peers, who may or may not know more than them?
The only way to truly find success in college is if a young child realizes that learning about the world is both possible and worthwhile.
4. It’s where children prepare for life
The ultimate goal of early childhood education should be to prepare children for life — not just for college.
Even if your kid loses their sense of self in adolescence, they’ll be able to find it again later — because it is there to be found.
But if we don’t start investing in our children’s education until they’re enrolled in a university, it’s going to be much harder for them to discover their unique paths. They won’t know who they are or what they’re capable of.
In other words, rather than stressing over college prep in first grade, we need to invest fully in early childhood education now. It’s the foundation for everything that comes after — including college.
You are capable
You, as a parent, have more agency over your child’s life outcomes than you may realize.
While there are so many things outside of our control, we do have a say in the foundation we give our kids — and early childhood is the time to build it.
Let your child develop their character and confidence through effort, persistence, and continual learning. Let them experience their efficacy and solidify their self-worth.
Don’t wait until they’re older, when navigating relationships and choosing a career path will occupy most of their time and attention.
Invest in early childhood now. College can wait.
☀️ This week’s bright spots:
If you have 1 minute…
Watch this video on why kids don’t just need to play — they need meaningful work, too.
If you have 5 minutes…
Read this thread on the five books every parent should read.
If you have 10 minutes…
Sign up for our email course on how the Montessori approach makes kids love learning.
Feels like a tall order! Would love more guidance on what to look for in a preschool/elementary